I’m aware I now have a strange relationship with social media; a medium I initially shunned as ‘me’ and only approached in another guise because I needed to get my football-related media related stuff into the world.

I’ve now found this area has become to me what it has to millions; a way of keeping in touch with people who want to know how you’re doing and what you’re up to. Truth is though I’m aware that this could so easily become one of ‘those’ types of pages. Full of bon-mots about life, death and love and pictures of Gail at Halloween, Bonfire Night etc. and I really don’t want to do that. I will probably just disappear from here for a few months soon, visiting only to read others posts and to keep in touch. N.B. (I soon realised this was a mistake and I needed to keep writing for my own sanity, in fact my page became exactly what I’d railed against in my original post)

In the short term though, this is just to let everybody – and I’ve had another three old friends get in contact just this weekend (and I really thought I’d found everyone) – know I’m OK. I’m eating, sleeping and doing things; I’m just heart-broken, bereft and mentally shattered. Your thoughts, words, condolences and kindness are overwhelming and greatly appreciated though and the fact that people I’ve barely spoken to for years have got in touch with such heartfelt messages is truly inspirational. Even the ‘I don’t know what to say’ message says a lot. Really. The support I’ve had here and via related media has really helped.

Thank you.

Attached – because it amuses me – is a photo taken on an illicit weekend in Bath in March 1994 before we decided to just do the right thing and move in together in June.

This was the start of me posting photos of Gail that no-one had seen before. Telling our story – and it is a helluva story – of how we met, broke up, got together again, lived and loved together and married. I won’t post them all here. Some of the story is quite personal and doesn’t add to the grief aspect at all. But I have to say I got a lot of pleasure and grief respite from posting pictures and hearing people’s interest – and often amazement – at the associated stories.

It became apparent to me that writing and telling our story was my release. It still is nearly a year later.