You can pretty much see my December journey by following the Billy Blagg Advent Calendar of Christmas Songs for 2018. I’m proud of that blog; I did what I usually do, so that those who enjoyed it in previous years got what they usually had, but it was done with a poignancy and love that kept me going right throughout the month.

Admittedly, this is isn’t something you may want to sample if you’re reading this in the summer, spring or it’s Easter or May Day but I hope you will return to it. The posting for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the additional posting for New Year’s Eve just nailed how I felt.

Every day was a different trial. Made unbearable because everything was as it was – in terms of my health, ability to get out, do things, enjoy places etc. – but nothing was as it was because Gail wasn’t there, and the hole she left threatened to suck me in every day.

I stuck at it though and eventually surprised myself and I guess it’s things like this, the subsequent trip to stay in the London hotel I’d booked the previous January and the later journey to Hong Kong that made people tell me that I did or was ‘doing well’. It certainly didn’t feel like that at the time though and, to be honest, it didn’t feel like it much later either.