Against my better judgement, I decided to try and squeeze in an autumn Boot Sale in an attempt to shift some of the smaller THTJB* bits, before the season ends. This lady came past, picked at a few of what’s left of Gail’s jewellery bits and started to walk away, before turning and coming back.

“You lost your wife a couple of years ago, didn’t you?” she said.

I confirmed I did, expecting her to introduce herself as a friend of a friend met at a Bar-B-Q or something, but she said “Look” and rolled up her sleeve.

Frankly, I’ve seen nicer arms and I wasn’t sure at all what I was supposed to be looking at but she said: “That’s the sign, look! I get a really cold chill first, then I break out in goosebumps. I have a message she says ‘She wants you to be happy’ and ‘you need to get out more’ “. I was going to quip that I had managed to get to a field in Clacton but I sensed it wasn’t the time.

It transpired this lady was a Psychic and had ‘got a message’ while handling Gail’s earrings. (Strange, as I frequently get a message too. Mine is ‘Why did you need 250 pairs of earrings?). She spoke to me for about five minutes; she was very nice and kind and I found myself surprisingly quite moved by it all.

She reiterated ‘She’s saying you really must get out more’ – I was tempted to ask if they knew about Lockdown in the Afterlife – but she seemed to genuinely want to help and I inexplicably found that I’d swallowed something hard and jagged.

‘Be happy’ she said as she left. After, I did look round to see if Gillian Anderson was hiding behind a tree and was going to offer to come home with me for a Roast (!?) but, sadly, she wasn’t. There was a Native American called Sam who passed a few moments later and bought some bedding, but I guess that was a coincidence.

Still, £85 and a message from the Great Beyond is a fair morning’s work, I suppose.

*In 2020/21 I was emptying my parents home and THTJB (The House That Jack Built) was an amusing social media reference I used to denote my visits to the house. The description came about as an estate agent had visited in the spring of 2020, during lockdown (but hadn’t gone inside due to restrictions) and declared the house was ‘bomb damaged’ (due to a Blitz bomb that had landed in the next street in 1941) and valued it accordingly, stating that the walls inside would be bowed. ‘The House That Jack Built’ was a well-known and classic attraction at Peter Pan’s Playground (now Adventure Island) in Southend-on-Sea. The attraction had wonky walls and floors, distorting mirrors and other distractions and the fun was to try and find your way around it in the dark. It was opened in 1949 and now has a preservation order on it. Referencing it back to my parents house provided much amusement, although ultimately the house was found not be damaged and the valuation turned out to have unexpected benefits. That’s not a story for here though…